Is there any purpose or logic behind theway the male and female are attracted to people they probably wouldn't otherwise like? Is there some cosmic explanation? Is God just sadistic? Or are we meant to learn to live those we don't understand?
Is it really true that opposites always attract? or is it just the extreme cases that we remember?
I do not want to have everything in common with my partner nor do i want us to be complete opposites.
I think I heard somewhere that people are often attracted to opposites in temperament, but similars in backgrounds. This tendency towards attraction of opposites is supposed to decline with age.
The comedian John Cleese and his shrink Robin Skinner wrote a great book called "Families" which talks about this. They present a theory where each person in a couple has the same qualities really, but one person underexpresses the quality while the other over-expresses it. Based on their theory, the victim in a violent relationship is actually secretly violent as well, but just repesses it and lives out the violence vicariously through the other.
The Briggs Meyers method of personality typing embraces another opposites theory. In the Keirsey Bates series of books based around the method, they talk a lot about opposite types being attracted based on the division of the population in to 16 temperaments. Craig from this site has a great dating site based on the Briggs Meyers method! I haven't tried it myself, but then I'm from outer space anyway, so it wouldn't work for me.
But realistically, can you ever really pidgeon hole any human being? I mean we are so unpredictable! The succes rate is much higher at being able to predict human behavior when it comes to mass numbers, but when it comes to predicitng the behavior of individuals....well, we are a strange species!
There is alot of biology that goes into attraction, and the science does not show that our biology is working to make us attracted (or attractive) to psychologically compatible mates. One of the strong factors is our immune systems. We seem to be attracted to people with similar but slightly different immune systems. This is a trend in sexually reproductive organisms that strengthens the immunity of a species as a whole (a significant aspect of our immune system is our herd immunity).
Is it really true that
Is it really true that opposites always attract? or is it just the extreme cases that we remember?
I do not want to have everything in common with my partner nor do i want us to be complete opposites.
Opposites attract?
I think I heard somewhere that people are often attracted to opposites in temperament, but similars in backgrounds. This tendency towards attraction of opposites is supposed to decline with age.
The comedian John Cleese and his shrink Robin Skinner wrote a great book called "Families" which talks about this. They present a theory where each person in a couple has the same qualities really, but one person underexpresses the quality while the other over-expresses it. Based on their theory, the victim in a violent relationship is actually secretly violent as well, but just repesses it and lives out the violence vicariously through the other.
The Briggs Meyers method of personality typing embraces another opposites theory. In the Keirsey Bates series of books based around the method, they talk a lot about opposite types being attracted based on the division of the population in to 16 temperaments. Craig from this site has a great dating site based on the Briggs Meyers method! I haven't tried it myself, but then I'm from outer space anyway, so it wouldn't work for me.
But realistically, can you ever really pidgeon hole any human being? I mean we are so unpredictable! The succes rate is much higher at being able to predict human behavior when it comes to mass numbers, but when it comes to predicitng the behavior of individuals....well, we are a strange species!
Yes
Yes they most certainly do. I am a genius and my partner is an idiot.
;)
Saint
Sorry, but she sounds like a Saint which would make you...
Immune systems
There is alot of biology that goes into attraction, and the science does not show that our biology is working to make us attracted (or attractive) to psychologically compatible mates. One of the strong factors is our immune systems. We seem to be attracted to people with similar but slightly different immune systems. This is a trend in sexually reproductive organisms that strengthens the immunity of a species as a whole (a significant aspect of our immune system is our herd immunity).
Just another factor.
On purpose
the science does not show that our biology is working to make us attracted (or attractive) to psychologically compatible mates. Just another factor.
I reckon humans are designed not to be attracted to psychologically compatible mates on purpose. We are attracted to struggle.
sex